You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
