Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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