Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
