I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.