you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
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He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....