Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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