I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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