Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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