i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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