"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize