You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
