i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
