He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
