He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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