he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's shark week go big or go home
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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