i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
