i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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