remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
