He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
