Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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