Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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