I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
