Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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