some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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