Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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