so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
