Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize