Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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