So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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