I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
