i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
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Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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