Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
