ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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