Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
