it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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