i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Michael Bay diarrhea
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
