Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
