he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
