just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
