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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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