I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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