My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
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Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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