so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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