dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
