Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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