I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
