Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
