Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
