So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
