Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
