How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i now understand why vodka
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
