i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize