my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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