I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
