You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
