Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize