he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
