And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
